Short Story; Night Watchmen

Credits; Arcania, Thalia,
No one ever stole from the the Lady Alicea Imperial Reliquary. It simply didn't happen.

Jemal was one of the night watchmen. His father had been a night watchmen, his grandfather had been a night watchmen, his great-grandfather had been a clerk with the DoS but no one talked about him. The point was that he was a third generation night watchmen and could authoritatively say that no one had ever managed to steal from the reliquary. In fact, he'd never even heard of anyone trying. Attempted theft of government assets would have been a very well publicized trial, and a very private execution.

You could hardly blame him for being a bit lax in his security measures. It was a plush job with few real responsibilities; as long as he unlocked the door for the right people in the morning no one cared what he did all night. The fact that he actually liked to patrol the musem was of no consequence to anyone.

He was passing by the armor exhibit on loan from the Medean palace when he noticed a light up the hall. He hated to find out that another little brat had hidden in the bathroom for a chance at her ladyship's four-poster so he rushed up to aprehend the disrepectful little punk.
A better man might have been surprised to see such a thing, but Jemal could hardly be considered a better man.

"Where'd she put the bloody thing. The count said it should be here; where is it?"

A cloaked figure was rumaging through the chest that normally sat at the foot of the bed. It sounded like a she, and the pale blue cloak was very finely woven.

"What's going on here miss?"

She spun and rolled behind the wardrobe. He was dismayed as he saw the tip of a blade around the corner. A thief! And on his watch.

"Stand between me and the book and the consequences will be most unprofitable for you."
"There's no books in here. This is the replication of Lady Alicea's bedroom set; if you are here to steal a book you should be down in the archives."
"The count said she'd hidden it in a hidden panel at the bottom of the chest."
"Well whoever your master is tell him he should have aquired a permit for investegation of significant artifacts before sending a burglar to do his work."

She spun around the wardrobe and charged him. Her sword was dripping snow and coated in ice. For an unarmed night watchmen it didn't get much scarier.

Suddenly a warm chill filled the room.
"Kathrine, what have I told you about evil?"
"Mom! What are you doing here?"
"Evil things, what have I told you about them?"
"'Tis far more evil if barely it's legal' But I need that book. Who in their right of mind would give it to me if they knew why I wanted it?"
"Bueracrats, the people who handle the requests for such things. Really Katherine, you're smarter than your sister; I'd think you'd know better than assaulting innocent guards like this."
"Fine. But I'm not sharing her spells."

The elder woman yawned pointedly.
"As if I needed the book; I've got half those spells memorized, and the alchemy only Cyssie would care about. You hardly even need the book."
"Then why would the count send me here?"
"Because I told him to. This was just a test to see how you'd do it."

The two stared at each other. Jemal finished calling the guards and turned to them.

"You failed, in case you were wondering."
"I'm not you Mother. I do things my own way. You can take your bueracracy, and your necromancy, and your creepy Gravagans and shove it."

The cloaked woman stormed off. The elder simply flourished and Jemal watched the chest's contents refold themselves and the entire display reset itself.

"Very sorry about that young man; private matters. You'll forget all of this by morning and the guards already have. Have a few dollars for the trouble and ask that nice blonde next door out for dinner sometime, she's hoped you would for ages."
There was a flash of light and the woman was gone.

No one ever stole from the reliquary. Occasionally though, things would be in the same place in the morning as they were the day before.